so i just got back from vacation, most of which was spent at this thing called NYLC (national young leaders conference). it was *really* fun. i had such a blast!

basically what happens at this program is that young people from across the country are nominated, & then hopefully, selected to go to washington d.c. for a six day program. we did simulations of a model congress, a supreme court trial, and a presidential simulation. we also visited monuments, listened to guest speakers, and basically had a good time.

everyone stayed in these sort of dorm buildings with up to 4 people in one room (i had the two most awesome roommates!).

i made so many new friends from all over the country! a lot of people actually commented that they thought that the friends they made at nylc were better friends than the ones they had back home. and i was thinking about it, & i realized that it was true. i'd been noticing for a while that my friends (my at home friends) had been excluding me from alot of things and pushing me to the sidelines and leaving me behind.

even my best friend has been doing this, & as i was thinking about it, i realized that i'd known for a while that even though she's my best friend, i'm not *her* best friend - i haven't been for a long time.

i was really upset when i got home. i ran upstairs and hung out with my mummy in her room, crying & talking with her about it.

i'd never really realized how different i was from my friends - everyone's always saying how mature i am for my age, but i never thought that that would hinder me from really having the whole high school experience. but my mom said that high school is all about being giddy & goofy & silly, & i'm really not. when people are immature it really gets on my nerves.

my life experiences required me to grow up (to mature) very quickly & none of my friends had similar experiences - they got to be kids in the most normal & average definition.

so i've decided to stop trying to be part of the group - i still want to be friends with them, but i'm not going to worry or put pressure on myself to be like them (giddy, goofy, & silly).

i'm going to keep in touch with all of my friends from nylc & continue my good friendships with the many adult friends that i have (you think that would have clued me in on the being too mature). i'm going to pursue my own interests & not be confined by the interests & activities of my school friends. i'm going to develop myself as a person away from what is expected of "normal, average" teenagers.

just wanted to get that off my chest. if you spent the time to read this whole spiel through, i thank you. if not, that's okay. this was more for my benefit than anything else.

until next time, see ya!